Released and free!

Well I’m waiting for a few more responses to the question at the end of my last post before answering them. But some people were asking about how my imagination was ‘shackled’ as I mentioned before and I would like to address that one now. My mind is always doing things, the little movements out of the corner of your eye; my mind sees them and makes things from them. A floating eye or a laughing ghost from light reflected in my own glasses. Colors each have a life and flavor in my mind, I’m seeing an old brown plaid couch out of the corner of my eye but at the same time I’m seeing chocolate bar the size of, well, a couch, I can smell it and I wish I could get up and eat it. My mouth is seriously watering for chocolate now, damn… Anyway.

My medication made the light interesting sparkles and the couch look uncomfortable. Everything fantastic and new at every turn died. I am Calvin without Hobbs or his alter ego Space Man Spiff. Even as I write a ten page paper for my Fiction class I feel and see my imagination rocking out to my Chinese Techno Classical music selection bouncing between the stars and strumming the tails of chilly comets like strings. On medication my imagination barely did a lame dance in the corner out of time with the music.

My imagination was my balloon which lifted my spirits and brightened my day. I am well and truly happier without little pills regulating my life.

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Dreamer and Writer

I mentioned something in my last post that’s been ringing in the back of my mind for a little while now. And that is the difference between a Dreamer and a Writer. One of the more positive markings for an individual with dyslexia is an abundant imagination. Though this often manifests as frequent daydreaming and a somewhat loose connection with reality. I call this being a Dreamer, and you don’t need to have dyslexia to be one, but it certainly doesn’t hurt things.

Being a Writer is a little more structured. It means being able to put down, in words, what you see, either in life or in your mind, and get your ideas across to people in a way that they see it, feel it, and/or experience it as if it were their own. To do this truly accurately requires a gift that I’ve only ever seen few who have earned or been gifted with it. My own sister is a fabulous writers and I believe she has this. I myself have quite a bit to go before I’ll think of myself as a true Writer instead of a pale imitation.

I tend to use a rather normal vocabulary when I speak. I use quite a bit of inflection and gesticulation to get across the image and feeling that I have in my mind. I can recall quite vividly one of the tests used to diagnose my dyslexia. I was asked to name as many tings as I could that began with the letter ‘S’. I said ‘socks’ and then blanked. I can recall images of snakes, ships, saws, and many other things, however the words did not come and I was unable to bring them out. Granted quite a lot of time has passed since then and I can say quite plainly that given the same test, my scores would be drastically different. But listing words and using them in writing is quite different.

That being said I continue to try and improve myself until one day I can wear the titles of Dreamer and Writer with conviction.

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