I feel that I must apologies to all my readers out there because of my lack of frequent updates in terms of material. I often find myself thinking of myself as a Dreamer instead of a Writer, a distinction I will get too shortly. I have many ideas and ambitious prospects for my future, near and far. However, when it comes to the actual follow though I have difficulty.
When dealing with things hands on, at the moment, a clear and present timeline, which must be adhered to, I don’t have a problem. Things are being done in the present and there isn’t a future that needs to be planned or other things, which can get in the way. Once there is a present and a future in terms of a project then things start to get shot to hell.
The problem that I have to deal with here is called Executive Function Disorder (EFD). The basic definition of this diagnosis is a great difficulty to follow though a plan. The more loosely defined the plan the less likely I am able to follow it. For this reason I tend to jump into things fast. My friends can attest to the fact that I am a spur of the moment kind of guy.
My main problem is that if I don’t immediately try and follow though with something. Write a paper, do research, write a blog entry, then they tend to wait and eventually stop. If I try and force myself to do it by a certain time, then it waits. I have to consciously force myself at an exact moment in time to get up and do it. And for me it’s not as easy as it sounds.
In the past I’ve had various catches and things to make sure that I got the work done. The main one being my mother. I have no problem admitting that my mother is probably the only reason that I got though school at all. I would tell her what work I had, after dinner was over or she had the time, she would sit down in front of the computer and allow me to dictate my homework to her.
Don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t the regular day to day homework but the essays and such that she was instrumental in assisting me though. When I got distracted it was my mother who got me back on track before I was completely away from the topic. It was also her who coaxed the information out of me. She knew just how to do it, give me a subject and a verb and I could write a paragraph or more. Something that I would most definitely be unable to do on my own, that is for certain.
I’ve spent two years in another college, and a year off, before attending my current school. My last college was called Landmark College. The premier college in the United States dedicated to Learning Disabled students. By that time I had a good handhold on my dyslexia. But the real problem began with being away from home and the assistance I got from my mother. That’s when the EFD reared its head once more, and I’ve been working on putting the lid on it ever since. I worked on it at Landmark. Though I’ll be the first one to admit that making plans to deal with a disability that makes it difficult to follow plans is one of the greatest ironies I’ve had to deal with.
One thing that has helped me in my struggle is my friends, people backing me up and helping me work out a schedule. For this I am eternally grateful. The next step is working on following my own schedule. Perhaps the greatest feat I will face. Let’s see how well I do, shall we?